It's after midnight and sleep has yet to make its way anywhere near my bedroom. Maybe it is from the excitement from today? Or the laughter? Maybe the overwhelming sadness that crept up mid-afternoon? Or maybe it's the fact that I have so much to say and not too many people to listen. All of these things play a role in my lack of sleep, but the last one really nails the target.
Lately, reality has kind of been a huge slap in the face. I have maybe three honest-to-goodness best girlfriends in this world. That is such a precious thing and I am so blessed to have all of these ladies in my life. However, one of them doesn't live in the same state and therefore I haven't seen her in nearly two years, and the second one moved away for college.
So if you haven't caught on, that leaves me with one friend whom I see maybe once or twice...a month...and empty and somewhat lonely heart that misses her friends dearly. Is it just me or am I the only college girl to feel this way? Everyone moves away after high school and I'm the cool kid who decided to stay at home. I know myself way to well to think I would actually enjoy living in a big city to go to college, but I hate the fact that my social life is dwindling.
But to get one thing straight, I am not a hermit, I am not rude or unapproachable, and I am not the type of person to turn down a new face. I am the type of person, on the other hand, to take in new friends with open arms and an all-around people person. SO, why is it so stinkin' hard for me to make new friends? To give me the benefit of the doubt, community college isn't exactly a gathering place for new people and I usually will get stuck in classes with fifty year olds who always tend to sit in the front row and insist on asking a hundred questions in one class. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that maybe now is not the time for new friends to come into my life. Why? I don't know, but I do know that God sends you the right friends at the right time. To me, the more you pray about it and the more you let God into your life, the more comfort and blessings he lets into yours. Friendship to me is something extremely special and shouldn't be taken lightly. No flaking, no lying, and no behind the back girl stuff. (I see way too much of that in other people's lives and it breaks my heart.)
Now, I know I have done a lot of complaining about my sad, lonely life...BUT, I am going to end this by saying that no matter where they live, I am blessed to have friendships with ladies that I can trust completely and who love me for being myself. Not everyone can say that they have three lifelong friendships like I do. So if it were up to me, I would like to say a prayer for all of you fellow college girls who feel lonely or lost without your best friend by your side. It is a scary time that we are all going through and it makes it twenty times worse when you don't have someone to go through this with. But don't worry, there is a person out there feeling the same way as you and when the time is right, that person will walk into your life, promise.
