Confidence

Lately I have found myself going through all my old things trying to grasp a few memories from my past. I am quite the collector and tend to hold on to everything which can be either good or bad. I have boxes under my bed filled with old journals that I used to write nearly everything in, pictures and photo albums from middle school-on, old notes I have saved from high school, and random objects that could only have special meaning to me. I am quite sentimental and would keep an old pen just because in my eyes something great happend when I used it. Yes, I'm that bad, but I am trying to get better.

Anyway, looking back on all of these things makes realize how much has changed in the past couple of years. How much I have grown and changed since the beginning of high school, and how much everyone and everything has changed in general. Even though I am in the same town, reside at the same address, and have the same interests as I did before, much deeper things in my life have changed. Now please do not get me wrong, when I say I have changed I was never all that bad.. I was never the huge party girl who always got in trouble or go from boyfriend to boyfriend. I had never done drugs a day in my life, nor did I find myself passed out on my friends floor; even when these things are quite common in my town. No, I was more of the naive girl who often got caught up in what everyone was doing or thinking. I can remember me desperatly wanting to be just like my friends rather than focussing on myself. I would alter the way I dressed, wore my hair, and the things I said to be more like my friends. I was never pressured to do these things, however, I just thought it was necassary at the time. I now look back on these particular memories and roll my eyes and think, what was I thinking? Why would I want to be anyone but myself? Maybe it is only human to want to conform to others, sometimes to even be jealous of other's so called perfections. But in reality, the person you are trying to imitate are most likely doing through the same thing you are. I don't think anyone at such a young age is ever 100 percent confident with themselves. And when you really think about it, everyone is so wrapped up in their own thoughts about what they look like that day to be worrying about what you and your appearance. Lets get real for a second, when is the last time a person walked up to you and said, "You have ugly hair and I absolutly hate your sweater?" Never. That's right, never. And if someone ever did say something like that to you, they must be the most unhappy person on the planet.

But in all honesty, I am right there with most woman out there. I tend to be self consious a lot of the time and never think I look my best. I never think my hair or makeup is picture perfect, and I am always embarressed and worried about my weight. With this said, I am probably the skinniest girl  you've ever met and I absolutly hate it! Yeah, I'm one of those girls that praises God when I GAIN five pounds. I know I know, you are probably rolling your eyes right now, but it is the truth. And I am here to speak the truth. So, if it were up to me, looks would not matter at all. I think most woman, along with me, spent too much time worrying about their appearance and not enough about what really matters in life. So what if you gained and extra five pounds, or in my case, can't gain weight no matter how much you eat. Who cares if your hair dresser cut your hair and inch too short or you're wearing last years jeans. People who love you and care for you will not even notice, and those are the only opinions that should matter to you. Everything about this reminds me so much of an old Taylor Swift song that I have been listening to lately. If anyone listened to Taylor's first CD, you are probably familiar with the song, "Tied Toegther With a Smile." This song in particular is so relatable to me and maybe even you. The beginning of the song says this, "Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty, is the face in the mirror looking back at you.You walk around here thinking you're not pretty, but that's not true, 'cause I know you." Yes, it is good, and I think everyone needs a friend like Taylor to tell you that you are beautiful. Am I right?

To wrap this up, I am just going to tell you this, be confident in yourself and do not let yourself get down. Confidence, happiness, and kindness is truly what makes a woman beautiful. So this is my point, ladies, worry about your family and friends, not your flaws. Spend more time smiling and counting your blessings instead of calories. I promise you if you spend a week doing these simple things, you will feel even better about your life and yourself. Everyone is beautiful, God made you in his image, and if that isn't true beauty then I don't know what is.